The Quest
Tonye Cole
Love…that word seems to be at the center of so much confusion in our world today. It’s at the heart of troubles in the home and the reason; it seems, for why marriages disintegrate. Love is blamed for the battles of the sexes and wherever peace is elusive on earth, the root cause, I see, can be traced to love…the lack of it that is.
It is love that causes the heart of women to skip so fleetingly and responsible for the giddy highs of girls post puberty. Love has a way of reducing men to do amazingly foolish things; taking dares of extreme irrationality to prove a needless point to mates. Surely love is an enigma many try so hard to comprehend.
Growing up exposed me to what I thought was love; the vain belief that variety was the spice of life and as men, we have the inhuman capacity to love multiple women, spread across various frontiers. A reckless description that making love equates to love. Something, I concluded, was wrong with that equation as it brought too much stress and sorrow to bear.
And so one day, in much despair, I settled upon a quest to discover true love. Is it possible, I asked, to love my wife to the exclusion of all others? To my utter surprise I discovered that love is life. It is tolerant and kind, caring and compassionate. It is sacrificial and unselfish, giving without demanding. It is bears pain to bring a smile to others and stands in harm’s way to protect the other.
I discovered that love was a choice, a very deliberate one at that, to see the best of you in the eyes of another. I learnt by sowing love in the life my partner and I reaped a bountiful harvest of love beyond comprehension, for her life blossomed immeasurably and turned my everyday a pleasure to behold.
And so by giving of myself wholly to my love, I came to understand why God gave wholly of Himself, for indeed God is Love and love is life.
Tonye Cole, Co-Founder, Group Executive Director, Sahara Group
Love, a divine gift
Maymunah Kadri
Love is a divine gift, a light of our life. True love can make our lives happier, more beautiful, and more meaningful.
Valentine should not be a one day ceremony. It’s a NO for me and psychologically, it is not healthy. It causes heightened anxiety, depression and sometimes suicide due to heartbreaks and other disappointments. People should learn to express their LOVE every day, to everyone and everywhere. If this is done, the world will be a better place.
Romantic love has been around a long time, and the idea of falling madly and uncontrollably in love is kind of a paradox. We’re supposed to be in control of so many aspects of our psychics, so many aspects of nature, and here’s something that can be so random and messed up. There’s something very appealing about the edginess of it. Love throws your neatly-ordered universe into turmoil without proper ‘management’. Life is too short to dedicate just one day to love someone…Remember, what you don’t have, you can’t give. Start loving Yourself first and there is never a late time for that..You can begin NOW!
Valentine’s day is NOT a day to express whether you truly love someone or not. It’s just an over hyped day that people are using wrongly for various personal reasons. If you love someone, there shouldn’t be limitations in expressing that.
To us as a couple, our Valentine is every day….If there are reasons for us to be happy, we bask in the euphoria. The days of sadness that sometimes do come and which are part of nature, we find the root cause of the problem and deal with it. After all, a problem shared is half solved.
For this year, and since our Valentine is every day, I and my husband already have activities mapped out for us and our cuties to explore one of the hidden treasures found in Lagos…and sorry, we aren’t telling anyone before it gets populated…lol!
Maymunah Kadri, Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist & Psychotherapist MD/CEO, Pinnacle Medical Services Founder, SPEAKOUT INITIATIVE
LOVE…
Olajumoke Adenowo
Love can definitely be felt ….
A warm glow enveloping the body and soul…
The heart fluttering at the mere mention of THAT name….
That boundless confidence that all is right with the world….for you belong to that someone and they belong to you….
The FEELINGS of Love – the inspiration of poetry…the stuff of legends….the igniter of wars….. the plot of tomes of books…the fuel of innumerable movies…the pillar of the music industry.. . the FEELINGS of Love….
Feelings…..in reality the work of very powerful hormones…LOL!
Love yields indescribably beautiful feelings but Love, true love, lasting love is beyond a FEELING . Feelings CHANGE, feelings fade… LOVE remains.
Love is a COMMITMENT,
Eyes wide open seeing each other’s flaws but yet committed.
Committed to the loved one’s highest good, their greatest dreams and their best self.
The closest earth has to offer that dare I say compares to the love of God is the love of a MOTHER,
The day s/he is born the little bundle of humanity is placed in her mother’s warm bosom, there her baby lies – nothing but itself to offer – nothing but endless feedings, nappy changes, sleepless nights, runny noses… and itself….
Just itself…. and it’s reciprocal and unconditional love for its mother and….. hours on end of pure joy and elation… and bliss that make the endless sacrifices and toil a mere mist that melts with the rising of the sun.
Joy as… he crawls, walks, speaks… celebrating his every achievement, vicariously luxuriating in every good he encounters, empathising at every level at every challenge… he sleeps, you are awake. Praying… he is admitted to that institution… you buy the car sticker and the sweatshirt….
It’s not about YOU it’s about your child….
That is love… it’s not about YOU… it’s about the ONE you love…
True love is not for the irresponsible……
Love says to the universe “If this wo/man does not f
ulfil potential, hold me accountable! “.
Olajumoke Adenowo, Principal Partner, AD Consulting Limited Founder, Awesome Treasures Foundation
Love transcends all
Adegoke Coker
Love for me means everything from the genuine care and concern for a friend, forgiving offences and laying aside that feeling of hurt in the heart, that decision to release and overlook being misinterpreted by friends, colleagues, friends, spouses, children, associates and those around us to the deeply rooted romantic disposition of one’s spouse.
Most importantly, love is the unconditional decision of the All Wise Creator to redeem mankind with the death of His only begotten Son to die for our sins so we may have eternal life.
Love is eternal and its celebration cannot be confined, constrained or limited to certain days and dates. Whilst it’s not a bad idea to accentuate love at every opportunity one is presented with, couples should endeavour to make every day as special as possible for themselves, the understanding that Love being the concrete and solid choice they both made as distinct from the emotions, relatively superficial expression and exchange of material things. Love must be the bedrock and enduring foundation of their marital relationship.
Love transcends beyond the norm, we must look beyond the one-day-one -date event concept to get its real meaning, otherwise the question is then “what becomes of love from February 15”
To love is to give, so the lavish exchange of gifts, flowers, roses, cards, cakes, rings, poetry and all, should continue but there obviously is a lot more to this eternal ideal. Love is not boastful or proud, it’s not self-serving, self seeking, bears and believes all things.
Of all of these distinctive qualities from the book of life, I see no place where “love is blind”, it remains a conscious thoughtful and sober decision one should walk into and not fall in.
Personally, celebrating that day with my wife and daughters, a special and growing relationship, I’m appreciative of enduring love, patience ,friendship and all we have been through in 21 years of being in each other’s lives,19 years of marriage and still counting.
We celebrate God’s goodness of over a decade and a half when we waited for our children yet; He renewed our love and kept the relationship, most of all the joy of parenthood.
To her I say THANK YOU my beautiful bride, love, “Oyinbo Oga” I really do love you. Forever!
Adegoke Coker, Director, Africa Missions, The Rock Foundation, Author, God’fessions
Kemi Ajumobi